Now stay with me here. The day job for the past decade and change has been digital marketing so I can safely say that I am worryingly online.
My professional life has, however, caused a thorough dislike of using social media in my free time. Apart from one site. My carefully crafted reddit feed (handles will not be shared, I value my anonymity on there) which allows me a timeline of eclectic subjects like hot and cold smoked foods, fermentation, foraging and the greatest football club of all time (Crystal Palace, by the way. This is a fact and is non-negotiable). Stay with me, this is going somewhere, I promise you.
So what are Oreos?
Are you for real? Okay, I’ll play along…
An Oreo is an overrated biscuit (cookie, for any Septics reading) that alleges to be chocolate flavour. They have a ‘vanilla’ flavoured ‘creme’ sandwiched between two of them.
The Test
A little while ago, a US-based user on r/smoking posted some photos of a range of cheeses they had cold smoked that weekend. Cheddar, mozzarella and some regional varieties that weren’t familiar to me. But that wasn’t all they had smoked. There was a tray of something that looked wrong. It looked out of place. It was a tray of Oreos.
The original poster stated, with confidence, that smoked Oreos “taste like s’mores but without the mess”. Well, that was enough for me.
We were due to smoke a batch of nuts the next day so a side quest was initiated and box of Oreos acquired. Into the smoker they went for a short time. Just a couple of hours.
So does it smoke good?
Nope. Nuh uh. Nooooooooo. I couldn’t even finish one.
Smoke often adds something. A level of umami, a complexity, a balance. Not this time. They tasted like someone had left some Oreos too close to a bonfire… Which, I guess, is a technically accurate description…
However
They got a thumbs up from some teenagers I cornered and forced them upon (these young people were made and reared by my siblings, nothing weird or untoward here, you can unclench). The smoke was a pleasant addition, apparently.
Weirdos…
Would you make them again?
Nope.
If specifically requested by a loved one? Maybe. As long as I don’t have to eat any.
Go here to buy smoked foods that actually taste good.
What we are watching: Abigail (2024) – Melissa Barrera should still be in films.
What we are listening to: Mainly the K-Pop Demon hunters OST, thanks to my gorgeous little girl
